


Chaotic Undead

by summernyx



Category: Hollywood Undead (Band)
Genre: Charlie Ascends the mortal realm, Crack Fic, J Dog and Johnny validate each other, Other, aron is a gremlin, chubby boys make each other feel better about themselves, horse-faced weasel-bodied gremlin named aron
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2019-01-21 11:32:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12456848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/summernyx/pseuds/summernyx
Summary: Johnny And J Dog validate each other, a Chaotic being enters the room, and Charlie on Heelies eating pringles. The Laws of Gravity were defied, no Chickens were harmed in the making of this bullshit.





	Chaotic Undead

“Johnny, you’re the perfect amount of chubby, don’t feel bad about yourself.” J sits on the couch beside Johnny, his legs are up and rested over the other’s lap. As he speaks, he pokes affectionately at his belly, to which Johnny shrinks, stifling an embarrassed laugh. Johnny reaches up and squishes J’s face, marvelling at the particularly cute and chubby cheeks that flush pink with embarrassment, or inebriation, or exertion… they flush pink a lot, Johnny comes to such a conclusion, the more he stares.

 

“Look at you,” Johnny starts, scooting closer, choosing how he wants to flatter his friend. “You’ve got this  _ face _ ,” his originality is unmatched. “It’s soft and looks good in, like,  _ all lighting. _ ” Jorel’s amused laugh is enough to make Johnny relax, confident in his ability to return a compliment.

 

It happens to be that, at that particular moment, a certain half sized ball of sex jokes and alcohol chose to slam the door open and speed behind the pair on light up heelies, shoving pizza flavored Pringles into his mouth and shouting at the two, “YOU’RE BOTH HOT, OKAY, FAT GUYS…”

 

Fat guys, what, Scene Bitch? What he meant to say is ‘fat guys do it better.’ His sentence is cut short by an unfortunate collision with a stoned Funny Man. Though the exact details of the crash are best left unexplained, a horrifying flurry of startled, screaming chickens are sent flying across the room, desperate to escape through the doorway Charlie came riding in through. Amid this swarm of feathers and distress, Funny Man is propelled upwards, slamming into the ceiling, and, by some defiance of the laws of gravity, sticks to said ceiling like a slime toy from a vending machine. He dangles from said ceiling, mind reeling, still possibly somewhere between the initial impact and the weightless sensation of the trip up to his current resting position. Things do not look well for this stoned Funny Man, though he continues to dangle, even as Charlie’s soul detaches from his body and ascends to the heavens, accompanied by Danny’s angelic tune,  _ “hello darkness, my old friend.” _ Although, Simon and Garfunkel have no point or purpose to the unfortunate narrative, they’ve once again been thrust into an ill fit situation, remaining pointless, yet still belonging by some strange logic. We may never know why or how.

 

Amid the mess to the immediate right of the couch, where Johnny and Jorel’s attention has been reasonable drawn, to the left, however, a small horse-faced, weasel-bodied gremlin wiggles his way out of the floorboards. The gremlin, Aron, as he’s called, scales the couch and creeps up behind Jorel, stretching his weasely body, and whispering in his ear,  _ “keheheheh, tickle him. _ ” Jorel doesn’t hear this, of course, no one hears or sees the chaotic force that is a horse-faced, weasel-bodied gremlin, named Aron. He doesn’t hear, and yet he is struck with an urge he cannot resist, so he leaps to his feet and tackles Johnny’s chubby body, tickling him without mercy and raising a squeaky breathless laughing fit from Johnny. Aron stands on his hind legs, doing a crab dance back and forth on the couch, watching the chaos he stirred,  _ “keheheh! _ ” He laughs, if you can call it that.  _ “Keheheheh!!!” _

 

His laughter goes unnoticed by all. Johnny doesn’t hear it, while he tries to push J off, J doesn’t hear it while he struggles to tickle the chubby bodied man. Danny attempts to wrangle Charlie’s soul from the corner of the room, balancing on a swivel chair and swinging a net, neither notice the weird gremlin laughter from the couch. No person in the room perceives said gremlin or his chaotic dance. None except the curly haired drummer who sneaks in from kitchen, carrying a plastic cup and a piece of cardboard. He’s seen the gremlin, named Aron, one too many times, and now is the final showdown, only one will come out on top. He creeps behind the weasel and he pounces with a solo cup. Aron’s far too quick, hissing, leaping vertically, landing and propelling himself into the frizzy gremlin nest. It’s made a grave error, that is no nest, that’s Da Kurlzz’s Kurlzz. Woops. Matt yells and attempts to remove the gremlin, knocking over objects that he probably shouldn’t be able to move. Goodbye to that television, I suppose.

 

“Charlie, noooo!” Danny is screaming, leaning further off the swivel chair, trying to catch the soul before it can ascend to alcohol and titty heaven. Charlie bounces off the ceiling, much like a moth smacking against a light, warbling I’ll Be There, off key. All the bouncing off the ceiling shakes the Funny Man loose, and down he goes, smushing J and Johnny like pancakes. Both are screaming, Funny Man is dazed, the screams and crashing noises are like rocket science to him, their meaning far surpassing his ability to understand, for all his height, the Funny Man feels very, very small. He moves not, neither to the left nor the right, merely lays where he is, atop two screaming flesh pillows while a gremlin nest careens around the room like a pinball machine.  _ When did this become pinball?  _ He wonders.

 

To the right, Danny leans, and leans, and then he falls. Having finally scooped Charlie’s soul into his net, and very nearly replacing him in his body, he falls and lands on top of the corpse of Charles P Scene himself, eliciting the ungodly shriek that only comes from landing on a dead body. Charlie’s soul escapes and again smacks into the ceiling, searching for the path to heaven through the solid mass of ceiling, all the while belting out I’ll Be There in a painfully off-key tune. The Gremlin, now nested in the frizz of a defeated Matt, peers out at the chaos and raises its weasel arms to the sky above,  _ “I am the almighty!” _ He squeaks. Matt, draped over a bookshelf in defeat, reaches up in a last ditch effort to snag the beast. He misses, sighs, and drops his limbs to dangle off his final resting place, utterly defeated.  _ “Almighty! Almighty! Keheheheheh!” _ Aron chants, wiggling his weasel body to the beat and flow, chaos radiates from his form, he is the Almighty Chaotic Evil Beast.

 

Hope is lost, until, from the doorway that Heelied in a Charlie, the goddess of order, Vanessa, herself, comes gliding in, righting the room. She leaps and snags Charlie’s ghost by his ghostly tail, slam dunking the incorporeal bastard back into his body, then lifts Danny and sets him in the swivel chair, kicking him out the door and into some therapy (Lord knows the boy needs it after  _ that) _ . She rolls the Stoner to the side and rights both Chubby boys, with a kiss on both their heads and a gentle affirmation that they’re both wonderful in all their size. Her final act of order is to remove the still wiggling, still Almighty, in his own mind, Gremlin named Aron, and set the defeated Matt in a chair. Exit stage right, Vanessa does this, carting out a disillusioned Gremlin as she goes. Order is restored, silence falls, interrupted only by Charlie eating pizza Pringles while sitting on the floor.


End file.
